Waking up wanting....
So the other night I woke up wanting. Not necessarily for food or something tangible...just wanting. I know this is a food blog and there is a food reference here somewhere. I lay there a bit - a tad surprised. I sleep pretty heavily and being awoken by a thought or dream is odd. I brushed away this wanting and went back to sleep, but I woke with that same feeling.
Once something strikes me I tend to mull it over for a while...a few whys...some whats...and eventually an exploration for meaning. The subject of wanting is difficult for me. I have always equated it with something I am lacking. I want bread with this soup because it is lacking by itself. I want this move because the current location is lacking in itself. Metaphors for every occasion.
But today I think wanting is just that - wanting. I do not mean to discount wants. I believe someone had a similar conversation with me once or twice...I seem to be 2 years behind. *thoughtful chuckle* My wants are huge drivers. I am currently changing my eating habits and they are all about wants. So I guess waking up wanting in whatever sense is not surprising...food want or not. So this is what I came to...
I want. And sometimes what I want is not available to me or good for me or...fill in blank. So I simply can decide to want something else instead. And because wanting is not about lacking something - it is just about wanting - I do not have to feel badly about not fufilling it or feel the need to suffer over it, etc.
Sometimes I cannot have what I want - so I choose to want something else.
I want something I CAN have. Something I can feel good about having.
